Aku suka alam fantasi

alam fantasi ku

alam ciptaan aku sendiri

tentang bagaimana harus aku jalani hidup ini dan peristiwa-peristiwa penting yang penting

aku bahagia dengan alam fantasi aku

meskipun aku cuma bermimpi

tapi mimpi itu yang menjaga aku dari hanyut dengan keasyikan dunia

Namun usia tak pernah terlupa utk meningkat

Lalu,

ku rasakan ku harus tinggalkan mimpi itu

ternyata langkah ku salah

tersalah jalan yang ku pilih

dan tersilap menilai seorang

ku sangkakan dia yang kan bawa ku cahaya realiti dunia

ternyata hanya makhluk yang pentingka diri

insan yang berlagak mengetahui semuanya tentang dunia

tapi rupanya hanya penipu besar dunia

ku tertinggal dalam kegelapan

meskipun aku dalam cahaya

kegelapan itu sentiasa bersama aku

aku cuba kembali ke alam fantasi itu

namun

aku gagal

alam fantasi aku dicemari kejahatan realiti yang aku lakukan

aku sentiasa dibayangi dosa silam

yang membuat aku sudah putus harapan terhadap dunia realiti

bahkan, alam fantasiku turut membenci aku

aku benci diriku sendiri

mereka tidak tahu

Ya Allah, terimalah hambaMu yang lemah ini...tiada arah yang ku tuju melainkan padaMU

BENCIKAN DIRI

Aku yang bencikan diri sendiri

tak perlu sesiapa pun untuk memebenci diri ku

andainya ada

aku memahaminya

dan aku memaafkan

dan aku jua memohon maaf

kekhilafan diri ini teramat besar

Dan kini

sisa hidupku sebelum ditarik nyawa olehNya

adalah hukuman aku...

Aku yang bencikan diri sendiri

Takkan mungkin akan bahagia...

Aku harus redha

aku harus tabah...

Ya Allah, ampunkan dirir hambaMu yang lemah ini....

aku benar- benar hambaMu yang lemah............................

Aku Tidak Akan Pernah Berhenti Mencintai Kamu.....

Just watching the las t episode of Cinta Dan Anugerah

Part ini paling best bagi aku... hehehe... citer ne aku tgk skip2 ajer..

malas kok mau nengok sumenya...244 episode bukan 

sedikit kok...penat bangat saya nnti.. hehehe tertiru cara cakap pula

Tapi ak agak sangsi dgn kata2 yang diluahkan oleh watak Reza...

"Aku Tidak Akan Pernah Berhenti Mencintai Kamu....."

Mungkin ke cinta sesama manusia begini wujud...

mungkin ada tapi Expression of the Love yang makin kurang..

Bila usia semakin meningkat....

semua kemanisan di awal percintaan..

tak pulak meningkat2....

adakah ini lumrah or manusia sendiri yang pilih jalan ini...

Hanya seorang saja idola yang aku kagum dalam bab percintaan...

Nabi Muhammmad S.A.W..

Percintaan Dengan Maha Pencipta, ALLAH S.W.T

Percintaan dengan Isteri2nya...

Percintaan terhadap umatnya..

Kasih sayang DAN cinta baginda benar2 tak pernah berhenti...

Baginda tidak pernah mengabaikan isteri2nya...

kerna membahagiakan isteri adalah tanggungjawab suami..

melaksanakan tanggungjawab terhadap isteri pun dikira ibadat...

Apa yang dikisah oleh Aisyah A.S tentang peribadi Baginda...

cukup mengharukan hati...

betapa romantisnya baginda..

betapa indahnya baginda sebagai seorang suami...

FEW THINGS THAT ANNOYED ME LATELY

IT IS NOT EASY TO SATISFY EVERYONE..BUT IT WILL BE MORE COMPLICATED WHEN WE OURSELVES DO NOT SATISFY WHAT WE HAVE DONE BEFORE..IT IS YOUR OWN WORK...WHY YOU CANT BE SATISFIED AND ACCEPT THAT IS YOU?

IT IS SIMPLE BECAUSE YOU DO NOT DID IT WELL. AND THE RESULT REALLY DISSAPOINTING..SO WHO WILL BE BLAMED? PEOPLE TENDS TO ASK ALLAH WHY THEY HAVE TO FACE THIS AND THIS?

BUT, THEY DO NOT A SECOND THINK WHAT ARE THEIR FAULT... ALLAH TEST US WHAT WE ABLE TO BEAR OR ALLAH WANTS SHOW US THE TRUTH... I AM TALKING ABOUT MYSELF.. BEFORE THIS, I MIGHT BE NOT SPEAK UP MY THOUGHT BUT I KEEP SILENTLY COMMENTING OTHER PEOPLE.... IN THE END, ALLAH SHOWS ME THW TRUTH... ONE DAY, AT A BUS STAND, THERE WERE FEW SMALL KIDS SELLING WHILE BEGGING.... I SILENLT IN MY HEART... HOW CRUEL THEIR PARENTS FOR NOT SEND THEM TO SCHOOL... WHEN THEY COME NEAR MY FRIEND,MY FRIEND WANTED TO GIVE MONEY... THEY CHILD SO IMPATIENT AND KEEP LOOKING TO MY FRIEND'S PURSE... I FELT SO IRRITATING WITH HER ACT.... I STARTED THINK WHY YOU SHOULD BEG? THERE ARE MANY WORK TO DO...YOU'RE HEALTHY AT LEAST....THAT WERE MY THOUGHT AT THAT TIME...

FEW HOURS LATER.. IWENT TO MUSOLLA TO PRAY, I PUT MY BAG AT THE BACK...WHILE PRAYING I HEARD LIKE A BAG WAS OPENED...BUT I IGNORED IT BUT I DID FEEL UNEASY...I STOPPED MY PRAYER AND CHECK MY BAG...MY PURSE WAS GONE... THE TWO WOMEN THAT COME IN AFTER ME ALREADY GONE..I BELIEVED IT WERE THEM BECAUSE THERE ARE NO OTHER EXCEPT THEM...OTHER WOMEN WERE PRAYED AND THEY STAND NEXT TO ME.... I CRIED HEAVILY...ONE YOUNG LADY THERE COME TO ME AND TRIED TO CALM ME DOWN... SHE ALSO USED TO BE VICTIM THERE WHILE SHE STILL STUDENT NEARBY... SHE GAVE ME TEN RINGGIT..I REFUSED AND SHE KEPT INSISTED IT... I THANKFULLY ACCEPTED IT FINALLY... SUDDENLY I REMMEBERED THE CHILD BEGGAR... NOW I AM THE BEGGAR TOO...

I REALISED THIS IS WHAT ALLAH WANT TO SHOW ME... NOT EVERYONE IS LUCKY TO HAVE COMFATABLE LIFE... AS THE ONE WHO IS LUCKY....HELP OTHER AND STOP SAY BAD THING TO OTHER EVEN SILENTLY.. ONLY ALLAH IS ALMIGHTY... HE KNOW WHAT WE ARE DOING, WHAT WE ABLE TO DO AND WHAT WE HAVE DONE

ALWAYS ASK FOR ALLAH'S FORGIVENESS...

Pari-pari malam

'today might be not my bright day but it is still my lovely day'

~~~my own quote heheheh~~~

*termenung kejap...cr idea* ah haa actually i am intend to write about:

 

"PLEASE STOP COMPARING YOURSELF WITH OTHER BUT IT DOESNT MEAN U JUST NEED TO RELAX WHILE OTHERS MOVE ON"

 

al kisahnya... smlm aku stay up till 1 am for studying...why???

because i am having test this morning...errmmm goood student right hehehehe

di kala teman berjinak tidur... ak brtukar mnjadi pari-pari malam....tekun mendaki anak tangga kejayaan (kejayaan la sgt huhhu)

tapi sebenarya i am a loser....yelah bebe study last minute kot.... mula la pkr bukan...pndg kanan kiri...

walaupn aku menjadi pari-pari mlm itu....tapi ak bkn ader kuasa sakti yg blh buat ak pandai hehehe

why aku gelar diri pari-pari malam dan entri ini pn tajuk macam tu??

 

sebabnya.... aku punya sukalah heheheh

mengarut-marut je aku ne

 

masa aku study malam tu...banyak aku fikir...

kenapa aku jadi malas??

kenapa aku susah ingat (nak jd mcm scanner or photostat...sekali lalu terus lekat huhuh)

dan paling best.... kenapa dia lucky sangat? (identiti dirahsiakan)

part paling best....

 

sume aku jawab sendiri heheheh

ak malas sebab ak tak tahu bersyukur....

ak susah nak ingat sebab byak minum air ada semut plus scene2 tak sepatutnya dalam cite2 omputeh,korea dll

dia lucky sebab itu rezeki dia and dia anak yang bagus............ keredhaan ibu bapa adalah keredhaan ALLAH juga... sesiapa yang berbakti pada ibubapa, pasti ALLAH membalasnya...

ALHAMDULILLAH Ya Allah...............

aku baru nak mengeluh...

Aku baru saja nak mengeluh…

Tapi ader yg mngingatkan ak tp lebih tepat kpd semua org…

There are no reason to complain and whining…

Allah pn mengingatkan kita… mengeluh tu membuka pintu kepada syaitan mendekati kita..

Siapa kita untuk mengeluh?

Apa hak kita untuk mempersoalkan segalanya?

But now these tears of mine keep begging to be freed…

These tears of mine completely tired…

Yes…. Aku mmg suka nangis…. Aku boleh menangis mcm budak 3 tahun sambil memanggil ‘mama’…

Then few minutes aku akan rasa tenang setenangya…

My tears of mine are completely mine….

No one could argue why I am so easy to cry

Because that tears of mine is completely mine…

It is not a sin if we cry….

Thanks Allah giving many ways to relieve myself

Solat, al-quran, my mom, my family and my tears etc….

BIT By Bit

Bit by bit
A part of her gone
That part of her dying slowly
That part of her leaves her eventually
Because her own spinelessness
Her own extreme spinelessness
Her desire, her hope, her dream
Bit by bit
Are torn apart
Because of her own fragility
Again and again…. Day by day
She is still that old weak girl
The other parts of her paralyzed
Unable to move on
Keep holding to the same weak old girl
This paralyzed girl really wants to move on
Step forward to prove to the world
She can live
She can decide
She is brave
But
Not even a tiny hole she could see
In the darkness of her life
She is really seeking for her God’s forgiveness
For being so weak inside and outside
Silently whispering
“Please forgive all the sins I have done, Ya Allah”
“ no one knows and understand me like You did, Ya Allah”